Recently, having been on a brief hiatus, I’ve spent some time thinking about what it is that is missing from my healing these days. There has been an empty space in the process, which left me feeling discouraged. I didn’t know what it was that was missing. I just kept pushing forward in my healing.
I had no idea just how much this blog has meant to me. I wish I’d never shut it down, but since I have, all I can do is pick up from here. Maintaining this blog is very, definitely a large part of my healing process. I’m not at all sure how to explain it, but putting things into writing and posting them to share, leaves me believing that I am not alone in the world. Having just said that, my shoulders have just relaxed. Maybe my posts make sense as much as I have always believed they did, or perhaps the misinterpretation, the one that leads people to the word delusional, could be true. Having published this to the world, I’m confident that somebody I trust will tell me if I am being delusional. In fact now that I’ve said it out loud I invite that information from somebody I know closely, and whose opinion I trust.
Is the opinion of my one intrusive relative valid or not? Time will tell.
This too, is something that I’m going through and writing about while I’m going through it. WIGT, WIGT. I’m getting more comfortable with sharing each time.
To me, now, it’s been proven that my method for processing is successful. I suppose that means it’s up to me to continue posting to continue to be successful. That’s a little scary, if I’m honest.
Each time I overcome an obstacle, a feeling that I cannot define, for example, I feel empowered for about 30 seconds before the swarm of my inconsistencies presses its thumb back down on me.
I’m rereading some of my books by Glennon Doyle, The Love Warrior already, and, now, Untamed. I’m overwhelmed but, far more impressed, with her ability to define in words internal thought processes and internal reactions. Maybe she’s my ‘unspoken, intended emotion’ literary mentor.
I love that reading is a demand in my profession. I love reading.
Thank you all,
We Hear You!
DeMichelle
WIGT, WIGT -
what I’m going through, while I’m going through it
Buy here-
off the Dance Floor
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