This is a key symptom of both anxiety and panic.
I have been trembling for weeks. I’ve tried to push through it by moving wood from point A to point B.
That helped me to keep the anxiety down but it wasn’t a cure.
Since my final panic attack, weeks ago, its been happening in waves. Some larger, some smaller. I’ve tried all my work arounds on each wave.
Sometimes it helps but, again, it’s never a cure.
Abandonment Trauma seems new to me. I spoke about it with my friend the other day and he immediately empathized. He had been through a situation in which the girlfriend left and he, too, experienced this trauma. All the wagons circled around her.
He too pushed his way through it and started to rebuild his world. He said that it took a very long time to be able to trust anybody. That’s how this panic works.
I’m discouraged but my friend asked me if I had ever been emotionally abandoned. I said, it would seem so. But, can a person feel emotionally abandoned from a security that they had never been granted in the first place?
He assured me that my reaction indicated yes. The first time I was emotionally abandoned but this time I was completely deserted. Physically and emotionally.
He sent me to study attachment styles and attachment traumas. I haven’t done it yet because the trembling in my stomach makes me feel queasy.
It was good to finally have somebody who mirrored my feelings. Someone who described a life story that matched my own.
The conversation yesterday was easier because the beer soothed our nerves. Sober and by the light of day, this path is just beginning. This type of trauma is new. This is gonna be hell.
I wish I could fast forward time to the day on which I allow myself to accept, process and allow the trembling to stop.
We hear you,
DeMichelle
WIGT, WIGT
Buy now - off the Dance Floor
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