The pen and the lie
- demichellewrites
- Mar 20
- 4 min read
Some people don’t understand how their behaviors have an effect on other people. For me, I take issue with the laugh.
It’s unique and has been going on forever. It’s difficult to tell how it evolved. Perhaps it just plain always was. Back to the days of Narcissus.
However, that laugh leads a person to believe that there is something wrong with them. I imagine there were times I just ignored it, times I just accepted it. Eventually there came a time when, somehow, I went inside myself and started questioning what it was that was so very funny about me.
I do not always intend to be funny, and yet somehow, everything I do, is funny.
I’m trying to imagine a situation that I could use to describe how this plays out inside of me. Perhaps it is as simple as saying that, if I were to want to pour myself something to drink, in my own mind, that involves reaching into a cabinet, taking down a glass, opening the refrigerator and taking out whatever it is that I want to drink, pouring it, returning it, closing the fridge and drinking.
Nothing about what I just said would strike anybody as funny. Somehow, there would have been many, many laughs throughout that simple process
(YES, Mr. King, I’m overusing the adjectives 😣😊 forgive me 😉lol)
As I went to open the cabinet, I would, because there was no knob, put my thumb on the bottom of the cabinet, my fingers on the side and open the cabinet door. When I did that my hand might slip on the door and create a slam. That is funny, not. Yes it is.
When I reached for a specific cup, a cup which was behind, perhaps, the wine glasses, I would move the wine glasses to another shelf to open access to the glass that I want. Moving the wine glass that I obviously was not going to use to another shelf is funny, not. Wanna bet?
Two laughs so far.
On opening the refrigerator and, then, rearranging the products so I could reach, let’s say, perhaps, a soda. That would be funny, it would be another laugh. It would be preceded by the statement. “What the hell are you doing. They’re right there. Its right there. haaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa.”
The first ha in the key of high D, the second ha in a high G. 🦻ouch
Taking the can of soda with me over to the counter on which I had left the glass standing happened quietly. 🫢 I snapped the soda lid, I poured, I put the can in the recycle bin, went back to get my glass of soda and sat down to drink, only then to hear, “Well, finally. Aaaaaaaaaaaaa, aaaaaaaaaaa. Its about time you chose to join us. Aaaaaaaaaaa, Aaaaaaaaaaaaa.”
So, in the first example I explain the pitch of the laugh. In these example I explain the length of the laugh.
Oddly, through writing this, I might have found my own way to a solution. As I’m writing this, I’m thinking to myself that, here, I had never responded.
During this writing, I didn’t react at all. Is my reaction part of the skit?
Perhaps that’s my answer. Just be silent, do my job and be done. It’s certainly in keeping with my no contact rule.
It feels like something that I will try, fail at, and I will leave the situation feeling defeated. I’m so tired of feeling defeated.
When I was, proverbially, done drinking, I’d have stood up to take my glass to the kitchen sink. On my way to the sink, I would have, perhaps, stubbed my toe on the corner of the island which stands in the middle of the kitchen. That’s funny……I’d rather not spell it out.
I felt the pain. They felt an uproariously, louder, longer laugh.
I think that that’s enough information to display that the person who is exerting that laugh is not paying any attention to what my feelings are during those situations.
Were I to say that to them, they, with their shorter arm would stand up in front of my 5 foot 9 person, form their fingers, the first three, into a triangle, and poke them at my chest while ranting on and on and on and on until I, as always, got exhausted and said “you’re right”, and walked away.
That person comes away from that situation feeling like I told her exactly what she had expected to hear, and I walk away, feeling, you really have no clue.
That same person, once they went to great lengths to find that I was writing a book in which I was going to speak my truth, created a brand new version of me to present to the people around them.
This description being a very good reason to believe that I am delusional and therefore unbelievable.
What they didn’t anticipate is that
the pen is mightier than any lie.
We hear you,
deMichelle
WIGT, WIGT….what I’m going through while I’m going through it
Buy now - off the Dance Floor
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