One thing at a time

Chapter 8, page 95

“One of the first things that I discovered about myself while I was living alone was that, I needed things to happen one thing at a time. I could not multitask.”

In Ellas words, there appears a sliver of myself. I’ve not ever been successful conveying that message when things become hectic. I’m caught up in one task when asked to do another.

In the office, it felt like a whirlwind. Everyone around me was managing 2 or 3 things and they could not wrap their minds around the fact that I just plain can not.

One might think that I appeared confused but what I would have felt is overwhelmed. My mind would turn itself off and I couldn’t make sense of anything.

No doubt that this is a direct result of N abuse. It’s the product of my mind having already been pulled in so many different directions. I can only assume that being a magnet had a hand in this.

Now that I’m in a neurotypical environment, I am sorting through this element. I’ve always felt that this quality made me ‘less than’. That is typical codependent thinking.

I’m finding, these days, that this work style doesn’t always give that impression to anyone else. This, too, is, also,a product of codependency. Needing the validation of others.

If I focus on just myself, I understand that one thing at a time is not, necessarily, a bad quality. I think it happens because I become hyper focused. I am very deeply involved in every aspect of a project/a job, so much so, that I can not move on to another aspect until the trouble at hand is completely resolved.

While this means that I do not operate at the same pace of others, it means my work is carefully and methodically complete.

I suppose, at times, an argument can be made for or against either work style, multitasking or hyperfocusing, but both styles need to be understood and more widely accepted.

Now, I’m beginning to understand. However, I can’t speak to how it’s accepted in the brick and mortar world, but there must be more people like me in the work force. Maybe, someday, I’ll discover the strengths and weaknesses of the hyper focused.

Until then, I continue to write. Perhaps, that is one of the strengths. Or, perhaps, it’s not. Time will tell.

I hear you,


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