Updated: May 24

Intention is what qualifies a person as toxic. Determining why a person does certain things is more than a bit of a riddle.

In order to know that Alexander and Paris‘ intentions qualified as toxic meant learning to decipher what their intentions were behind certain behaviors. This is not an easy thing to do. This involves asking myself ‘why‘ about the ways in which they had chosen to behave.

I endured a number of pains before I learned that the best way to understand would be simply to ask. I would have to choose my words carefully as I now wondered if the situation might actually become volatile.

Through Janice’s behavior I had learned how not to behave but I also believed that I was on the right side of that particular situation. I believed that I was safe.

Sometimes, though, without having asked, I would hear something that gave me pause. Such as;

”I don’t need simple. I got an A in home economics in high school.”

Chapter 4, page 42

How do I interpret that information? The practical every day part of me thought that it had been a long time since then but everyone has something from their past that they hold onto, right? Having heard that statement and having left the situation feeling ambiguous, caused me to hold onto that phrase and pay more attention going forward.

The tone of her voice felt indignant. As if that was the fact and that’s that! I didn’t feel as though I was offered any chance to question the subject.

Each time the subject of Saturday baking came around she would ask me to sit with her and choose recipes. Then, after having been in her home, I understood that she followed the recipe precisely. I don’t cook well at all but even I could follow a recipe to the word. So, I suppose the A that she referred to was about her having known how to read and how then to behave.

I wondered if this was the only time she behaved this way. As I said, she was adamant. I later learned that this was not a one of a kind thing.

I hear you,



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